The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.
There's no such thing as a stupid question, just the idiot that asked it.
History often repeats itself, just to rub it in.
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
Studies show that married men live longer than unmarried men. Most married men say it just feels longer.
Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years. Because he did not ask for directions.
Adam and Eve were the luckiest and happiest couple in the world because neither of them had a mother-in-law.
Women use silence to punish men. But men love silence.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
A sociological study has verified that a woman's ultimate fantasy is having two men at once. In this fantasy, one man is cooking, the other is cleaning.
Men love the Renaissance period of art - and it has nothing to do with all those statues and paintings of naked women. Honest.
A woman wants a man who is soft, caring, understanding and will communicate, but is also strong, rugged and married. But she can't have him. He's already got a boyfriend.