SLEEPING Don't tattle... now, now don't start a baby battle just put him to sleep with a rattle FEEDING When feeding the baby don't think about a castle and moat you don't want the food to be stuffed down baby's throat 'cause if you do, people will shout, ' stop acting the goat!' BATHING The baby should not be drowning or people won't just stand there frowning there will be a lot of commotion and trust me it won't be in slow motion here you will have to act fast and...well let's not go into a description so deep and vast CHANGING DIAPERS This is gross just hold your nose and please don't clean the baby's bottom with a garden hose Now dear parents and babysitters it's time to go and oh.. don't let the baby get a stubbed toe
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest,
is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must
tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been
administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short,
but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.'
responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever
told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too
hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.'
St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.
First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?'
leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees
St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, 'Now that you have had a chance
to think the questions over, tell me your answers.'
Forrest replied, 'Well, the first one -- which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow..'
The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, 'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer.
How about the next one?' asked St. Peter.
'How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, 'but I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'
Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'
Forrest replied, 'Shucks, there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... '
'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too.
Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name'?
'Sure,' Forrest replied, 'it's Andy.'
'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.
'Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?'
'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,' Forrest replied. 'I learnt it from the song, ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.'
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: 'Run, Forrest, run.'
A group of 40 years old buddies discussed where they should meet for dinner.
it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant
because the waitress's there had low cut blouses and were very young. ______________________________________
10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
it was agreed that they should meet atthe Ocean View restaurant because
the food there was very good and the wine selection was good also. _____________________________________
10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant
because they could eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a
beautiful view of the ocean. _________________________________________________________
10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View
restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and they
even had an elevator. ____________________________________________
10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before !!!!!!!!!!!! !
“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one
dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are
relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past,
present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in
the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.” —Anais Nin
A tourist in Vienna goes through a graveyard and all of a sudden he
hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the
source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a
grave with a headstone that reads: 'Ludwig van Beethoven 1770-1827.'
Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being
played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades
a friend to return with him. By the time they arrive back at the grave,
the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony but like
the previous piece, it is being played backward. Curious, the men agree
to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert the Fifth
Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the
symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were
composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th. By the next day the word
has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all
listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the
graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the group asks
him if he has an explanation for the music. 'Don't you get it?' the
caretaker says incredulously- ......He's decomposing.'
sign of the times: i purchased this book 'how to talk so kids will
listen and listen so kids will talk' on a suggestion from a friend (i
don't usually buy 'self help' books but some excerpts on the net
convinced me otherwise)....now my 9 year old occasionally quotes from
the book to instruct me how to interact with her! sighhhhh!!!
kairosclerosis n.: the moment you realize that you’re currently
happy—consciously trying to savor the feeling—which prompts your
intellect to identify it, pick it apart and put it in context, where it
will slowly dissolve until it’s little more than an aftertaste! (courtesy: dictionary of obscure sorrows)
IN REMEMBRANCE : AN OLD POST OF JANUARY 2009, INSPIRED BY STEVE JOBS'S 2005 COMMENCEMENT SPEECH AT STANFORD:
I have often pondered why Indians lack that spirit of inventive ingenuity in engineering technology (NOT mathematics, fundamental sciences) .......the unprecedented, the avant-garde, the original !
Sure we have VinodDham, ArunNetravalli, Amar Bose and several more who are superlative achievers in their niche fields of technology, both in management and R& D, but nearly all of them actualized their potential and burgeoned while away from India. And NOT all fundamental technology!
I wondered aloud at 3 different occasions in the recent past and here are the reactions..............
A middle aged Electrical Engineer from BITS who exhibited potential during school years with several prizes for science & innovation and who now "markets" million dollar engineering solutions (not in India any longer) ...he blamed it on the dead weight of several years of subjugation by colonists (and others) which was a blow to our self esteem and a confidence buster. ..........the pity mode!
A 30 something graduate in automobile engineering from a premier REC down south, born into a family running a successful auto ancillary enterprise, who trained for 2 years in a car giant manufacturing facility in Europe, worked for some years in an Indian automobile company and now has ventured into setting up of a design services company branched all over India........................he almost verbally pummeled me (after several beers) for even suggesting that Indians lagged/lacked in modern technical accomplishment with arguments which were not too compelling via the rich history of scientific, mathematical, architectural achievement route ............the belligerentpatriotism mode!
A bright spark ambitious engineer from IIT, hand picked by a global commercial aircraft manufacturer to intern in their US plant, who picked up a pilot license en route, and after a stint with another European manufacturer is currently on deputation in India with a commercial airline in their route planning, test flying etal division ........he sort of agreed with me, no justifications-no rationalization. My query about what percentage of the IIT alumni since its inception in the 60's had made successful/path breaking contributions in the field of technology was met with a sullen "no idea, check with the IIT website" which could be attributable to his turning 30 that very day :-) .............unapologetic yet NOT apathetic mode!
So I am yet ambivalent......perhaps there is a paucity of that gene of pugnacious innovatory enterprise or perhaps the climate of nurture/enquiry via education or opportunities is absent or perhaps as SudhirMishra pointed out in a TV program in another context ...we celebrate too soon (and for too little, we get complacent with small glories) or perhaps we need to prodigiously BE HUNGRY, BE FOOLISH as summed up in a simple yet brilliant speech by Steve Jobs at the Stanford commencement speech in 2005.
I leave you with this inspirational food for thought in 1 ,2 , 3 , 4 , 5 parts, delivered by Bill Gates at Harvard in 2007.