Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Key to Buzzwords.

At the End of the Day: Can be taken literally; suggests that the speaker is stalling for time so that he or she can come up with a better answer.

Blamestorming: Similar to brainstorming, comes only after things have gone wrong rather than before. Mostly an a***-covering tool.

Blue-sky Thinking: You've heard of thinking outside the box? Well, this is thinking even further outside an even bigger box.

Boiling the Ocean: Attempting an overly ambitious task. Related to reinventing the wheel, only without the unfortunate Stone-Age connotations.

Buzzword-compliant: any document containing enough buzzwords to get corporate approval.

Bozo Explosion: "The large number of inept employees that a company ends up with when it hires an incompetent executive, who in turn hires incompetent managers, who then hire incompetent workers," says

Cactus Job: "A bad, degrading, perhaps dull assignment, especially one perceived to be beneath perceived skillset," says Martin Kihn in House of Lies .

Circling the Drain: what a bad idea does before it ends up in the sewer where it belongs.

Cockroach Problem: "A problem that is bigger than it initially appears." (wordspy)

Cook: Kihn insists that this means finish rather than falsify. Should be used with care; telling a client you're off to cook the figures could create overly high expectations.

Core Competences: "A thing you can do," Kihn says. See, sounds much more valuable in jargon.

Drink the Kool-Aid: "To accept an argument or philosophy wholeheartedly or blindly." (wordspy)

Intellectual Capital: Things that people know. Not to be confused with, say, Sartre-era Paris.

Learning Opportunity: A mistake.

MBWA: Management by walking around. It may look as if your boss is aimlessly wandering through the halls, but give it an acronym and it becomes a management technique.

Mushroom Management: Keeping people in the dark and feeding them manure.

Opening the Kimono: Flashing your accounts (or other hidden thing) around for inspection.

Professional Development Opportunity: A nightmare project that no one else wants.

Proactive: Even better than active; getting your oar in first. Helpful when blamestorming.

Put some Pants on it: "To fill in the missing details on an idea or concept." (wordspy)

Think outside the Box: I can't think of a new bit of jargon but that doesn't let you off the hook.

Throw it over the Wall: Ditching a problem by passing it on without asking or co-ordinating the transfer (wordspy).

Wheelbarrow Culture: One where people will work only when they are pushed.


Chikki said...

I loved Bozo explosion..hahaha..

Its so funny. I am gonna discuss it with my colleagues

CAT said...

Hope the discussion lead to some "blue sky thinking" :D