Monday, February 16, 2009

"PUN"GENT!!!

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating--always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted--It taint yours, and it taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in The end.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

And finally the winner:Jonathan was a whiz with puns and wanted to
participate in a 'Pun Recital' contest. He delved into his mammoth collection of puns and picked out the ten best from there, hoping that at least one of them would grab the prize, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

2 comments:

A. I. said...

A man after my own art! (Pun extended)

CAT said...

Thank yee A.I. .....
for the punctuation!!