advertising terms real meaning

This is a list of what all the advertising terms on products really mean...

NEW - Different color from previous design.

ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.

EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.

UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.

 

ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.

 

IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.

 

FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

 

HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.

 

FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.

 

REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.

 

DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.

 

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.

 

BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.

 

MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.

 

MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.

 

SOLID-STATE - Heavy as hell.

 

LESS FATTENING - Now doesn't have the same fat content as pig stomach lining.

 

HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.

 

NON-REFUNDABLE - We couldn't make it work long enough to ship it.

 

FAT FREE - You pay for the food, but the fat is free.