"In my experience people who act the least Indian seem to "love" India the most.
Yeh to zaroor dekha hai maine yahan, ki jo koi yahan ek baar aa jaata hai, they do NOT want to go back. They act like they would "love to be back in India" "Love everything Indian". But unko kehke dekho "so whats stopping you, turn in ur notice, seal ur home, pack ur bags and go?"
Then they will start the loooooooooooooooooooong winded explanation about "how they would LOVE to go except for blah blah reason, yadda yaada reason they just CANT".
India mein bhi bache itne "Indian" cheezen nahi seekhte. Yahan, parents unko har roz kuch na kuch Indian thing mein drown karne ki koshish karte rehte hain.
My best friend (supposedly) was raised by totally conservative Rajasthani brahmins emigrated to NY, were'nt allowed to wear anything fashinable, had to do pooja, read Ramayan and what not. The boy and gal, both finished college, moved to Bxxxx one after the other, the bro moved in with a gori and eventually married her, the gal, kept stalling and evading the topic of marriage and then later married a gora from work. Both siblings work at XX.
Aunty and Uncle were devastated, ki ghar pe woh log pyaaz bhi nahi khaate, yahan bahu aur damaad dono, kuch bhi chalta phirta udta tairta kha lete hain.
The gal/my friend, will continue to reinforce her brahminical ways on ME. I am like "honey, apni pati ko pehle convert kar le, kam se kam tere maa baap khush ho jaayenge"
Both bro and sis, have talked their spouses into keeping their kitchens strictly vegetarian, much to the annoyance of THEIR PARENTS. Bahu has started feeding the grandkids meat everytime they eat out, beti ke in-laws have given an ultimatum to their son saying "we will visit you only when we can cook meat in the kitchen".
My friend's parents were going on and on and on about Ramayan and shastras to MY PARENTS when they visited this summer and happened to meet. I am like "agar apke bachon ko yeh saari baaten aapki yaad rahi hoti to they wud have married people YOU chose". I didnt understand what they were trying to prove to my parents, talking about rituals and rahu kaal, when my parents happen to be super religious and super conservative themselves.
Bachon ko jo karna hota hai, wohi karte hain, tum unko jitna marzi bharat natyam aur shloka class bhej do. At the first opportunity they rebel (read take revenge).
Everytime I see parents of my age group going overboard, I think of my friend and her parents.
Her 20 month old daughter has all the allergies on the planet, so she has "reluctantly" she says agreed to feed her chicken, and the 5th bedroom in her house will soon be converted into a kitchen so that ma in law can cook meat!!!
To top it off she gleefully fantasizes about Axxxxx's future as a teen in this country asking me"agar woh beef khaana chahega to tu kya karegi?" "agar if he has a white girlfriend to tu kya karegi" "agar woh ek din apna tongue pirece kar lega to" "agar ek din woh tattoo kar lega to?"
She wants to know how I would react.
One day I was so mad I told her "Axxx YOU dont have a choice, ur hubby is a gora, he thinks of India to be a third world slum, even though he married u, so u can NEVER go back, u are here in life imprisonment until death. ME AND Sxxxxx HAVE A CHOICE. At the first sign of errant behavior by Axxxxx we will get out of this country."
Main aise logon ko bhi friends bolti hoon?
I feel in this country, kids are taught right from they are young about how important it is to "feel good about urself, do something becoz it is the right thing for you, think of your own happiness first etc etc etc".
Sacrifice is something they DO NOT TEACH.
They talk about charity and fundraising etc etc, but NOTHING about sacrificing for your family or "giving" for your family.
Indian parents majority, spend their lives sacrificing everything for their kids. First come the kids then its everything else.
Even many goras at work acknowledge that Western culture teaches adults only to look out for themselves and THEN look out for the kids...........
Aise mein I am NOT surprised that the selfish trait is being nurtured and glorified.I have met countless women at work who are terrified and devastated that their grown kids may have to live with them for a few months after completing HIGH SCHOOL.Aise mein how can they expect their kids to clothe and feed them and keep em under the same room when THEY TURN 70 OR 80?
It is a two way street................
There is may be more that ails the Indian society, but MY view will be hugely biased as I was born and raised there.............