Saturday, March 21, 2009

Cat&Chaos Jocose

EDIT2: I HAVE DUG OUT THIS POST FROM THE DEEP AND PLAN TO KEEP IT ON TOP OF THE PILE TILL NOMINATIONS COME THRU AND AWARDS GIVEN !!!

EDIT1: APOLOGIES....IT IS THE W.P. STYLE INVITATIONAL AND NOT "MENSA" AS MENTIONED EARLIER.
ALL MATERIAL APPEARING ON THIS POST IS COPYRIGHTED.
In the true tradition of the the Washington Post STYLE Contest, I throw open the Cat&Chaos Contest .Thanks Aman, for the gentle goad! :-).

Stirred but not shaken (?), anyways here goes......

Aberrent: the prevailing rentals which deviate from what is normal or desirable.

Paradice :a place, situation, or condition in which a gambler finds perfect happiness.

Penny Envy: in psychoanalysis, the theory that some girls' and women's psychological problems stem from a sense of deprivation about not having (earned ) penny(s) .Very few psychologists now accept this concept.

Mento(s)pause: A time in a woman's life when stimulation diminishes and ceases, usually between the ages of 32 and 42 and she then has to pop 2 Mentos in her mouth.


Oki time for my Mentos break.......

109 comments:

A. I. said...

Good one again.

Rx:

Menadrill ( Benadryl) – for John Abs-raham abs sans the workouts

Crowsin ( Crocin) - food for the soul
(http://www.zeenews.com/Zee-Exclusive/2006-10-17/329785news.html)

Tetracycling- Little kids on bicycles with four wheels

Calmpose - A yogaasan

Dyegene ( Digene) – Foetal color processing

Eyedex ( Iodex) - For easier ogling

Aspirin – For ‘new’ superstar aspirants like Bobby Deol and Sanjay Kapoor

Brewfeni ( Brufen) – Goan version of Irish Coffee

Tile'n'all( Tylenol) - perfect flooring solutions

............

Ultrasound - Kitty party underway

Easyji - Neta from Phagwara

...to probably be cont'd.

CAT said...

I am sure gonna try Brewfeni next visit to Goa!

And Crowsin, poor birds, nothing to crow about !

More later :-)

A. I. said...

Mentos - Oh you meant toes?

Mentos - Dancing classes for women who step on men's toes on the dance floor.

Mentos - Men's toes. Wth!

Sentos - Perfumed feet

Bentos - old women's toes

Tentos - Begum Bedouini's dress shop

Rentos - Toes on rent for men who dance with women who never went to mentos

Pentos - People who can write with their toes

Dentos - ew..don't want to go there

wentos - chinese take away

Gento - Gent - in Japanese

Can u think of more?

Aman said...

FANTASTIC STUFF from both ladies!!! (Specially from AI. Sorry CAT... she's good at some things, you're better at others) :-)

I wish I was good at this.

Have you invited others to contribute?

Animesh? Annie?

Aman said...

Is this any good?

Apparent: The rent quoted before the actual rent is disclosed.

CAT said...

oki I will go bottoms up.....

Aman:nice go

I too tell A.I.that she is good...I am the WISE one and she is the WISECRACK one.Am sure A.I. will agree! ;-)

Will invite Animesh and Annie and everybody else...its a free for all, spread the word

CAT said...

.I.:was meant to be MENTOS ...the minty stuff. I am kinda got hooked onto it,so....
And am not interested as much in MenTOES!!

My inspiration comes late night but in the interest of keeping us on our toes, here goes for now......

Centos- the new spanish currency

Gentos used Pentos for Wentos and one needs Sentos when one Mentos :-)

More later I promise

A. I. said...

Err,,,thanks...I think.

CAT said...

Dunno what u are thanking me for, but I am sure you sincerely menat it :D

A. I. said...

Always ;)

btw, that was for Aman.

Aman said...

You're welcome.

Isn't the objective to find new meanings for existing words? Or are we allowed to dream up new words?

Put this up on Facebook or a link on Facebook, inviting friends.

CAT said...

The original objective was to twist existing words to give it a brand new meaning, but hey if creativity demands forging new ones...all game.

Animesh said...

bonne apetit : french male chimps appreciating a female female chimps decolletage ;-)

cowardice : frozen water too scared to melt

washbored : a dhobi with ennui

kum-pewter : a little less of the antimony please [ref]

/that's it for now :)

Animesh said...

I move that the pronunciation remain the same. We are aiming for puns here. No?

A. I. said...

If we go to the link to the Washington Mensa Contest, we notice that a letter is either added or removed or replaced with another to get a brand new word which can be twisted to have a funny new meaning.

Puns are always fun too.

Lets ask CAT?

A. I. said...

D'mento's : The old age home in Bandra
Momento - BRB...
Memento - Who am I? Wait, what is this?
Sentimento - For mood swings
Sacramento - Holy mint

CAT said...

ALL, I say go ahead and spout....we can categorize into sections later!! Creative juices ahoy.

Great goin A & A!!!!

CAT said...

Emusculate (emasculate) : Unmanly sorts working out to build muscle mass

Iceburg (iceberg) :Cold burger

Contemporary: Part time crook

nemissus (nemesis): wifey taking revenge

French Hiss: Open Mouth hiss where tongues nag


More from where that came later!

A. I. said...

Err-apparent - stage fright
Hair-apparent - time for the wax strip
Ire-apparent - shoe@bush
Ere-apparent- before it begins to show
Apparent- Appa pays till Venkataraju Chennamangalam Patanimannan Ramachandran moves out.
Apparant - What VCPR has to hear till he moves out
Upparent- Rents gone up

Anonymous said...

Thumbs Up to Contemporary!

Nemesis reminds me of the Bitter Half!

Two more people who'd love doing this: phoenixritu & IHM.

Aman said...

Ajit used to be good at all these, right? Remember Peter & Repeater, Robert Redfort?

Aman said...

Identity: Bruised ego?

Google: Exhortation to Ogle?

Pissimist: What the car behind you gets on it's windscreen if you pee out of the window!

Am I getting better at this or what??? :-)

Aman said...

Subscribe: Assistant Journalist?

Collapse: A fault on the part of the Colonel? (Help improve?)

Accurate: A clergyman who's right!

A. I. said...

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art17133.asp

:))))))))))))))

Aman said...

HOWLARIOUS AI!!! :-D))))))))

Zaza said...

Diagnostic: Condemned to die before experiencing a miracle of God

Magneta: Inexplicable attraction to colors that are visible only to the fairer sex

Prototype: First true-type font invented

Antithesis: Contrasting results from a doctoral research

Snoose: Euphemisn for verdict to be hanged until dead

A. I. said...

Confuse:Cheap Chinese glue

I'm passe- well..

Colesterrall - planII incase we're all wrong

Impausible- me,esp. when given an invitation to play with words

Perpedual - continuous confusion

CAT said...

Testimoney: money checker

Damnage:Cussing when see your first grey hair

Repulse:Coming back from a near death experience

Drivelle:Silly female driver

Minusocular: Myopia

Yoghurt: Injury while doing yoga

Serenade: A drink to go along while singing a love song

Diass: A raised platform one stands up on to make an ass of oneself

Dandilion:A top notch lion

Dramatics: Stage fright

Sushe: A raw female

Penury: Poor quality jury

Mortguage:An instrument to determine if dead

Inputt:Indoor Golf

Overdoze: Kumbakarna's nickname

Landlard:The fat guy who charges too much rent.

Largass: A very generous sized backside.

Surromate:Substitute partner

Ruminate: A room shared by 8 people

At Lagerheads: Pub brawls

COLLAPSE: In tandem (?)


ALL,WHAT A FUNFEST,KEEP THEM COMING!!!

CAT said...

Aman, who is Ajit

A. I. said...

Capten - Iski topi uske sar

Petrifry- blow cold blow hot

Orbituary - Kalpana Chawla

Recouperate - Musharraf?

Pathotic - Micheal Jackson

Par-don - Mafia goes lateral

Coup-le...see? C-O-U-P? yeah!

Faminist - Down with food!

Pestyside- Work on it

Fantasize - 0

Pashta - Italian breakfast in India

Ole!! - hailstorm in a bullfight

A. I. said...

If I may..

The loin of Bollywood - "Lily, don't be silly" fame.

Aman said...

No comments on my submissions? They must've been pretty rotten! (Or you guys very self obsessed!)

Will start by pointing out those I really liked:

Zaza... Each one is Excellent!!! Superb stuff! (No relative of Gabor are you?)

Anita... Confuse & Perpedual: Eminently Laudable! May I suggest another few for perpedual: continuously on two legs OR continuous dilemma? :-/

CAT... :-) to testimony, Drama-tics, Overdoze, Surromate, Lagerheads, Ruminate & Yoghurt!
May I...?
Dandelion: Lion overtly conscious about personal appearance!

Anita... Brilliant (though "daring") to Orbituary & FAMINIST!!!
Pashta could also be Turkish breakfast in India?

And here are a few of my "ifforts":

Flatulence: Epidemic that strikes today's female models for their sins.

Manchester: Same as above.

Debate: Let off the hook?

Management: The highly effective modern science of making a man age faster, practised by large corporations, also taught in expensive schools.

Curry: Dog in a hurry? OR Spicy, Gravy based dog-meat preparation?

:-(

I'm really struggling...!

A. I. said...

My personal favourites: ( out of them ALL -first to last submissions this far)

First me :P

Dyegene
Brewfeni
Easyji
Tentos
D'mento's
Ole ( for the hindi/english meanings)

Now you

Contemporary ( CAT)
Identity ( Aman)
Subscribe ( Aman)
Diagnostic ( BRILLIANT - ZAZA)
All of Zaza's rest
Repulse ( CAT)
Overdoze ( HMMMM CAT)
Lagerheads ( CAT)


This IS fun!!

Aman said...

No takers for pissimist, flatulence or management I see... :-(

CAT said...

Oki first, list of the ones I like most by order of appearance (does not include mine:-)) :

Dyegene -A.I.

Bonne Apetit- Animesh

Cowardice-Animesh

Apparent- A.I.

Identity-Aman

Accurate-Aman

Diagnostic- Zaza

Prototype-Zaza

Perpedual :A.I.

Faminist: A.I.

Manchester:Aman

CAT said...

Prediction: Baby talk

Heir apparent :Wig

Typist: A draw in a drunkard contest

Turnstile: Head turning fashion

License : A white lie

Thats all for now

Animesh said...

malice : the gangsta-mother of blood-sucking hair-dwellers. [oblig. video link.]

aquaguard : Ganesha's name if Parvati had made him only of water

antelope : what cheenti in love do

A. I. said...

Lisense-pseudo intellect

Posthomus - Flatulance

Perflexed - Working out the wrong muscles

Pennytense - Recession

Greenhows - Bhala uskee pun mere pun se funny kaise?

Pessifist - Stingy bawa

Delighted - weight gain

Conversion - Faketake

Aw c'mon Cat, tell which ones of yours made you smile too.

Aman said...

CAT!!!

You've improved by leaps & bounds! That latest set is the best yet!!!

I was laughing out loud in office, attracting stares at "Typist"!!! Absolutely FANTASTIC! Way up there with Faminist!!! Maybe a shade better, because it hits a second later! Takes you by surprise!!! BRILLIANT!!!

May I suggest License: The smell of lies?

Animesh=Lord of Japanese Animation?

Aquaguard is creative, but Antelope is FUNNY!!! :-D

Preceding: Early signs of balding?

CAT said...

Manicure: A doctor

Constipation: Hypochondriac

Absent: Pot bellied

I am enjoying this too much.
A.I.: No faves among ones brood, no?

Antelope...:D
Aquagarud: Inspired!!!

Thank yee Aman for your kind words :-)

Animesh said...

@all: good stuff. keep it coming.
@CAT: I didn't mention the flying vehicle of Vishnu. Now I do:

aqua garud : if Vishnu rode a penguin.

Animesh said...

and this comes from one of my fav. jokes

Nag Panchami : What happened when I fought the Cobra in a ring.

A. I. said...

Cat-has-trophy - CAT got her tongue :))))

( Great going Cat..'typist' is truly inspired )

Marathong - err..T in a G?

Stoopiditty - a lowly tune

Revulution - Anti gravity

Animesh said...

@AI: Thanks.

/offtopic: original joke
Q1. What is the opposite of Nag Panchami
??
A. Nag did not punch me.
!!!
Q2: What is the inverse of Nag Panchami
??
A. I punch the Nag
!!!!
[joke teller runs for cover]

A. I. said...

haha..Nag panchami was good!!!!

( thot I sorta ruined it by spelling it out...so deleted comment)

Keep it going folks!

Zaza said...

Piazza: Tasy Italian food that is gobbled up on the porch when delivered.

Pornpoise: Obscene video of snout nosed aquatic mammal (though, shot in style)

Recollect: What bankers do to piss off trusting customers who set up autodebit instructions on their accounts.

Current: Rent paid for a small apartment to live a dog's life.

Flubberghast: Reaction evinced from absentminded professor's serendipity.

Friar: Priest who bores people with 'pakaoo' sermons.

Adam's Apple: Swanky laptop which Eve hated.

Bushmen: Nomadic African tribe demanding to either rename their tribe's name, or the previous President's (They're touchy people).

Dol(e)lar: Alms paid out to ill-managed companies of the free World.

A. I. said...

hahhahahahhahaha @ bushmen lollllllll

CAT said...

Zaza, you are THE Czar Czar

Adams Apple.....Applause

Animesh said...

@Zaza/Bushmen: _bows down_ *respect* !!

A. I. said...

Annnnnnnnnnnnddddd a half century...all rise!

CAT said...

Zaza,you are invited to visit and join as member :-)

ALL, please visit:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=54781069279

CAT said...

Cinnamon: synonym for sin in mann (tsk tsk)

Chorus: Band of thieves

Forbade: Adults only

Curfew: Not if Maneka Gandhi had her way

Hyperbole: talkative

Aman said...

Czar Czar is truly apt!!!

CAT... GREAT thinking on the Facebook group!

Animesh... Didn't like the lord of Jap animation? What do you think of Animesh=
"A little like hostility"? OR
"Random net"?

Any good? :-(

Cinnamon: I don't & I won't! ;-)

And another priceless one from Czar Czar over SMS:
Pitt-y = Sympathy for women who don't recognize good looks!

And inspired by that...

Pithy = modicum of sympathy?

A. I. said...

Hastinapura - Mona Lisa
Sense Friction - Mythology
Surrendipity - OK u win! now stop crying!
Crapediem - Death by Bisolax
Sens or - nonsense
Postulate - Indian postal service
Rumination - Turkey

Aman said...

AI,

Didn't get Hastinapur, Sense Friction & Sensor at all. :-(

Thumbs Up to the rest.

A. I. said...

Doesn't matter. As long as you got the rest. :))

Aman said...

I didn't get the rest. I need to go to Goa again!

CAT said...

article: cartoon

barbar(h)ic: drunk barbar

boisterous: teenager gal's stressos

arthritis: dictionary

ventilate :not punctual

profit : a gym

rectangle: straighten

Zaza said...

Dilate: bicentennial man

Gazelle: Woman, wonder-eyed

Snigger: Snide racist remark

iCicle: Smart two wheeler produced by Apple, with 2 MP camera and GPRS

Aman said...

rectangle: lopsided end of digestive tract

angle: dyslexic angel?

Uranus: ***Self-explanatory*** :-D

Farce: Funny looking behind.

Aman said...

While we're waiting for more from the Czar, here are some from the proletarian:

Farce: Also Fake Bum!

Explode: Venturing into unknown territory made him go bust! (Also, Blow it while/by venturing into unknown territory!)

Neptune: Space Age Music!

Debugger: reverse sodomisation.

sodomize: DO they?

Parton: "I'm Sorry I was staring..."

Pamela: The kind of fair Indian men want to visit!

A.I. said...

Oh man, this is turning into a 'discover the hidden word devil in you' affair!! :)))

Brillianto!!


Ginnastics - Drunken brawls
Copperknickers - Chastity belt
Cycologists - round and round and round
Illumiknotty - Psychedelic lights
Artechoke - abs-tract art

CAT said...

Kickass ALL,keep them coming!


Mousy: a timid aunt

Sanctimony: Stock market

Civilize: Hypocrisy

Catabolism: Meow

Weasel out: We sell out

Godzilla: Heaven

Tenderloin: Ajit in a romantic mood

Adulterate: ForBADE

Volleyball: ejaculate

Silicone: Madonna’s costume

Tongue in Cheek: French kiss

Brazil: Enthusiastic Support

Asbestos: Your personal choice totally

Holster: trigger happy

Buffering: Suffering a Full Monty

A.I. said...

Perculate - head count

Aburration - Tummy tuck

Ballistick - Cricket (tsktsk, aaj kal ke bachhay!)

Weakend - Er.. dysfunction

Amazonyen - Confusing Japanese currency

Leera - Italian men!

Flamenco - Italian fire fighting company

Flamengo - Bipasa Basu

Flamango - Spicy aam ka achaar

Ballet - ___ on hire for cowards

Hairarches - Balding patterns

Interfearing - Recurring doubts

Recur - put someone back in his place

A.I. said...

Whoa..this cat sure got out of the bag :)) Great going. BTW..CATering ka kya hua? hehe

CAT said...

CATering is under CATscan, CATalyse not. These CATch phrases were CATatonic,CATchy and NOT CATerwauls,no????

CATapult,so did you,I guess it will CATchall ;-)

A.I. said...

Catalogue of Categories of Cats.

Catsnap - Let sleeping cats lie

Catapulse - Changes wrt temper

Catatonic - Gin..no vodka..Absolut-ely

Categori - Yep

Catablog - Cat&chaos

Cathersis - Haven't met her yet

ACatchment - Home, hearth and NF

Caterpillar - Moospot wall


Catalyst - MoM ( hehe...that will certainly lead to a catsnap)

Catchyoo - Bless you


Now this is getting wierd... so :X

CAT said...

That was a CATastrophy, weird but....

Feel like CAT's whisker!!

Aman said...

Dogmatic: Name for Japanese pet toy

Doggone: Police slang for lost pet FIR

Dogma: Mother of Dog!

A.I. said...

Giddyap - teenaged girls chatter

Whoa - This is a g rated blog!

Sherrif - Decent lion

Spur - A cat with a lisp

Cowboy - From Texan mythology

Kenny Rogers - erm

Lasso - Mangalsutra

Concha - Nepali

Saddler -A very depressed snake

Aman said...

Tantrik: Extra Strong Sunblock?

Aman said...

Neetu: 2 Knees?

Nitin: 3 Knees?

Anila: Song in one's heart on espying a pretty knee.

Mujib: Cat's tongue?

Animesh said...

Aman : single-mind.

Animesh said...

Holi : Bruce's street-walking sister.

Aman said...

Aman would be non-mind. (Didn't know we were using Hindi as well...)

:-) to Holi.

Filmfare: (Indian) Representing all that is wrong with Cinema.

CAT said...

roulette: risky tenant

abscissa: crunches

circumscribes: some who pretend to be "journalists"

disorient:westernize

A.I. said...

Circumsribes - Editors
Describe - Lay off journo
Ascribe - Buttattoo - Ghajini style
Transcribe - Queen Journo
Grawitty - Seriously funny
Proclamation - The right to remain silent


Disorient--good one!!
loll @ neetu & nitin.

Cat, how about u get 5 words of 8 letters each..and make us slog at finding different ways to contort them, then u pick the best..and he/she comes up with the next 5 words?

CAT said...

Good idea....more takers???

Here goes:

BLIZZARD

EFFERVESCE

ISOSCELES

NONSENCE

SURROUND

Your Best Shot all :)

Animesh said...

Since when did
"EFFERVESCE" have 8 letters?

Aman said...

One letter bubbled over...! ;-)

LOL to Disorient, Describe, Transcribe!

Grawitty: Seriously funny writing on the wall...?

A.I. said...

Blizzard - Visually impaired reptile
Blitzard - an abusive offensive

Effervesce - Where did u learn to cuss like that?

Isosceles - Monica? When?

Nonsence - Lacking soul

Sur-round - French for ON the circle?

CAT said...

LOL to "one letter bubbled over",Grawitty!!

Nice ones ALL :-).

You could continue with effervesce (preferable)or EFFEROUS.

The essence was to play around with a given set of words, number of letters was not critical.

Animesh, your Vidhushak group not game to this game????

Zaza said...

Cremate: Fondness for milk products did him in!

Ellipse: Girl with speech disorder is shy.

Black Pepper: Dravidian Cheerleader

Spoke: Cruel words

Margarita: Drunken Thatcher

Fairbanks: What's that?

Aman said...

Joclosed?

CAT said...

My attempt to resuscitate before jocloses finally!!

Nefertiti: vowed never to go topless

asteroid: heavenly haemorrhoids

buxom: It bucks some

cereal: opposite of surreal

isosceles: you saucy more

asphyxiate: plastic surgery

A.I. said...

LOL...Holi and its side effects!

Good ones Cat!

Animesh said...

sexting: Teens sending their sexy pictures via MMS (oh wait, this is a real word)

A.I. said...

Flicksated - Satisfied with MMS-es

Aman said...

Bandarful!!!

CAT said...

efface: nose job,face lift..the works

go haywire: what some types of grass do to you


more later (I hope)

ALL, do we start to select nominees for the various categories or is it early days yet :-)

Aman said...

You're just greedy for comments!

Let's do it NOW!!!

CAT said...

If that is the unanimous opinion, plzzz select the nominees:

Annndd the categories are....

1)The Best New word coinage

2)The Best RErepresentation of existing words

3)The Best Twist (change of a letter or 2) of existing words

4)The Smartest of them ALL

5)The Funniest of them ALL

6)The most Original of them ALL

A minimum of 3 nominees are essential

Aman said...

7) Most DELICIOUSLY racist of them all...???

A.I. said...

Indigenious - Bharatiya akalmand...mhanje..amhee sagle.

Akalmand - dimwit

ShyKnees- bow legs

ChapKnees - knock kneed

Amircan - Shahrukh can't?

Arsetrailian - Pull your own weight!!

Fwench - Paan chewing kaantabaee

Rushian - Rushdie follower

Lebunice - Nice behind

Madrassi - South Indian rope trick

Gujrathi - Modi/Advani collab

CAT said...

Category 7 included :-)

@indigenious, gujrathi :))))))))

CAT said...

And yes to answer your question,A.I., Shah Rukh CAN'T! :-P

CAT said...

Pakora: heat fried Goras

Fundamentalistans: Some of India's neighbours

Chaina: a superpower in the making

Engulf: Malluhaven

Dehelli: need I say more

Slumbay/Marathension: one claim to fame this bon(ne)bay :-)

A.I. said...

Indipop - Gandhiji

Inditerminate - Pak's dream

Indignance - India's roads

Indefinite- Not with our population growth

Indiscriminate - sms nocriminals-space-your name to 58888

Indiwedual - Turn-khadi-coats

CAT said...

THIS IS SHASHWAT GUPTA'S CONTRIBUTION WHICH HE PUT IN A ANOTHER POST.

Pickpocket–> Economic Offender

Indifference–> Spirit of [insert Indian city name]

Car–> earth-unfriendly, vertically-challenged mode of transport

Car Wash Worker–> vehicle-appearance specialist

Dog–> quadruped non-human associate

Failure–> non-traditional success

Homeless person–> residentialy flexible individual

Pervert–> person engaged in nontraditional espionage

Prostitute–> body entrepreneur

A.I. said...

Not fair...was hoping someone else would push this to a century.

Century - Penury + 1 cent

Aman said...

AI,

It's only fair that you did.

CAT said...

so is this gonna go another half century before we have nominations???

don't be shy, ALL...come on!

And here goes one for the road....

coarse: 2 unrefined dudes sitting side by side.

Aman said...

Coarse: 1. What you chart on Indian roads.
2. What you are put through in PMC schools?

Aman said...

Politics: Infested with many, many fleas.

A.I. said...

AssAssiNation - Our neighbors

ŠĦÅŠĦWÃT said...

Also, Prostitute–> नगरवधू (wife of the whole town)

A.I. said...

What is the male equivalent for that?

CAT said...

Shashwat, gender is irrelevant when term prostitute is used,so no bias please.....

A.I.: I would hazard a "Kaamgar", wot say

A.I. said...

http://www.nipissingu.ca/faculty/williams/figofspe.htm


Discoarse - Mithun Chakraborty
( Iyaamadiscodancer tatatara!)
Discount - CA with happy feet