Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
kiddishly quizzical!! :-)
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,
and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? e.g.abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the Borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean? (I do love this one.)
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
anti-corruption
so apart from participating in marches and wearing "anna" gandhi topis,
why don't we "all" express our solidarity with the anti-corruption cause
by not giving AND not accepting speed money/bribes (petty or otherwise),
by not breaking traffic rules
and carrying out our civic responsibilities... f
or the next one month.
who knows,it may be addictive and become a habit!! wot say?
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
a paraprosdokian....
"If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate." — Henry J. Tillman
"I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat." — Will Rogers
"She got her good looks from her father, he's a plastic surgeon." — Groucho Marx
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." — Groucho Marx
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I don't know." — Groucho Marx
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." — Groucho Marx
"When I was 10, I beat up the school bully. His arms were in casts. That's what gave me the courage." — Emo Philips
"If I could say a few words, I would be a better public speaker." — Homer Simpson
"If I am reading this graph correctly, I would be very surprised." — Stephen Colbert
"Mark my words. No, Mark, I really need my words." — Stephen Colbert
"I show up at the party, bear with me. That's it. I get there and I have a bear with me." — Little Britain
"If all the girls at Vassar were laid end to end, I wouldn't be surprised." — Dorothy Parker
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out." — Bill Hicks
a gruk
As per wiki :
A grook (Danish: gruk) is a form of short aphoristic poem or rhyming aphorism created by the Danish poet, designer, inventor, and scientist Piet Hein. He wrote over 7,000 of them from 1939 until his death in 1996, mostly in Danish[2]. The grooks are multi-faceted and characterized by irony, paradox, brevity, precise use of language, rhythm and rhyme, and an often satiric nature. Many of the grooks have an accompanying line drawing, which provides additional meaning.
age
A group of 40 years old buddies discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waitress's there had low cut blouses and were very young.
______________________________________
10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet atthe Ocean View restaurant because the food there was very good and the wine selection was good also.
_____________________________________
10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.
_________________________________________________________
10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and they even had an elevator.
____________________________________________
10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before !!!!!!!!!!!! !
Finally it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waitress's there had low cut blouses and were very young.
______________________________________
10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet atthe Ocean View restaurant because the food there was very good and the wine selection was good also.
_____________________________________
10 years later at 60 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they could eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant had a beautiful view of the ocean.
_________________________________________________________
10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the restaurant was wheel chair accessible and they even had an elevator.
____________________________________________
10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before !!!!!!!!!!!! !
a punny verse
when dusk does dawn....
day dusks into night.
dawn dares the night...
its but a rhythmic flight!
day dusks into night.
dawn dares the night...
its but a rhythmic flight!
dream pun:
Puns in dreams--visual as well as verbal. Ann Faraday
pioneered the study of dream puns; she argues in "The Dream Game" that
such puns aren't meant as disguises (Freud's idea), nor are they idle
associations (Havelock Ellis); they often make a sharp point, one hard
to make any other way. Their humor is useful: it sweetens awkward
truths, to coax the reluctant conscious to look! Bad jokes often relax a
skittish audience. And isn't the waking mind about as skittish as you
can get?
This list also includes a related phenomenon, mondegreens:
meaningful mishearings. The word is itself one; as a child, newspaper
columnist Jon Carroll heard a folksong as: Lord So-and-so had died, and
Lady Mondegreen. Years later he learned the line ended and laid him on the green. Examples include As a Hillsborough Child, He has Repented, and God Dressed Ye, Mare.
http://www.worlddreambank.
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