Monday, January 26, 2009

Just a Few Questions!

I was just sifting some of my old mails and found this short exchange:

"CAT: 'I do not wish to intrude but this is gnawing into me......Axxxx on her 18th birthday appeared so full of spirits ,why within days was there a despondency. For a person who usually appeared so animated, chirpy this seemed unnatural. If you do care to share, I would be grateful......as it would a catharsis for all the dark feelings I have been experiencing since I heard about her hospitalization and death. If you cannot, I will understand. '

KS: 'Axxxx was a person who was loved by all. She was the type of person who could not be rejected by anyone who was close to her. A few days after her birthday, she found out that she was adopted. However she did not break down, she continued her fight to find her real parents. But I guess when she found the truth of why her parents left her and the events that followed their meeting hurt her. She was wounded on the inside and did not let anyone see it. Only a few people know what happened to her. ' "

Why is the human psyche so fragile? What makes the past paramount and negate all that is terrific in the present? Does nurture always lose out to nature? What is the right age to tell a child that he/she is adopted? Are there several adoption stories with unsavory detours? Why do some couples prefer remaining childless rather than adopt? Why am I stuck in a groove :-( ???
ALL SAID I DO NOT WANT THIS TO SEEM LIKE A QUESTION MARK OVER THE MERITS OF ADOPTION. I KNOW OF A FEW FAMILIES UP CLOSE WHO HAVE ADOPTED 2 KIDS EACH AND ARE ONE OF THE MOST LOVING WELL ADJUSTED FAMILIES I HAVE COME ACROSS! IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO ATTITUDE AND WISDOM.
AND IF ADOPTION IS ON YOUR MINDS GO FOR IT....WITHOUT INHIBITIONS,WITHOUT BIAS. GENES ALONE ARE NOT GUARANTORS OF PARENTAL FULFILLMENT /GRATIFICATION!!

1 comment:

A. I. said...

Talking of adoption,see if you can find a copy of the Tamil movie " Kannathil mutthamittal" with subtitles. You'll love it.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0312859/